One of my favorite Rolling Stones songs has always been “I Just Wanna See His Face” from Exile on Main Street. For most of the song, there are no real lyrics, just a swirl of atmospheric voodoo (a production aesthetic nicked from the great Dr. John album, Gris-Gris, which had come out a few years earlier). As the song builds to its moment of catharsis, Mick and his backup singers keep repeating, “I don’t wanna walk and talk about Jesus / I just wanna see his face.” It’s a lyric that simultaneously longs for and doubts the divine. I’ve always been a total sucker for the lyrical perspective of the decadent rocker frightened by, obsessed with, and/or doubtful of God. Dylan went through his one-dimensional (albeit fascinating) proselytizing phase with Slow Train Coming and the albums that followed, but it was with Time Out of Mind that he confronted the divine with a mature, nuanced mixture of doubt, humility, resignation, and passionate love. (Thanks to the great derek becker for offering up this worthy interpretation of the album.)
With this week’s song, “And If You’re My Master“, I’m taking my own shot at the secular-spiritual-mystery pop song. I flirted with the genre in “Dynamite Explodes”, the last song on the first Baby Teeth album, but this week’s song is much more lyrically direct. The title is meant to suggest ambivalence and doubt about the divine, but as the song develops, it becomes clear that the narrator is longing to give up the notions of free will and absolute knowledge, and turn over the game to something bigger than himself.
Musically, it’s just a simple piano-and-vocal arrangement, and it owes a lot to the 70s balladry of Andy Pratt…. lyrically too, for that matter (“Finally I’m Yours”, etc.). But it still gave me fits. I recorded the piano take, as MIDI information, to a click track. I thought it was serviceable until I listened back and found that my tempo was all over the place. I spent a long time cleaning this up — moving one note at a time until the performance managed to sound rhythmically accurate and still sufficiently human. I’m still quite enamored of the whole MIDI universe. The piano sound is coolly trashed-out — a combination of reverb and the old Reason Scream processor.
I’m happy with this one; hope you like it too.